.... BirMioNOvSki ....

Hope and Expect seem to be very similar. First off, I think they were the same. I was totally wrong. They are two different definitions, and two different perspectives of life. One that could leads life to misery, another leads life to cherish.

 

"Expect" defines itself as "to look forward" or "to consider probable or certain".

"Hope", on the other hand, defines as "to cherish a desire with anticipation".

 

Sometimes, dictionary says that hope means "to expect with confidence"...

They both, indeed, have the same definition. But what makes them different?

 

Hope, or Expectation, which one is stronger?

 

Think about it... when you expect something, and it fails you, how would you feel?

Contrastly, when you hope for something, and it fails you, how would you feel?

 

When you hope for something instead of expect something, how would you feel?

 

I used to live my life under expectation, but now... I realized, "why/what do you expect?"

 

If my life needs motivation, expectation is not for me.

I now rather have little hopes for every other thing and do my best on it.

No matter outcomes are, I never failed.

 

"Live your life with hope, not expectation"

แก่เกินไปหรือเปล่านะเรา... คงไม่ใช่เพราะเครียดมาก แต่เจือกดื่มกาแฟไปตอนทุ่มนึง... สมน้ำหน้าไอ้เบิ้มแล้วไง

เมื่อคืนไม่รู้เป็นอาราย... ตื่นตั้งแต่เที่ยง... ถึงหกโมงเช้าวันต่อมา... ตอนนี้ทรมานมาก...

หลับก็ไม่ได้ เดินก็ปวดก็เมื่อยตามกล้ามตามเนื้อ... คนแก่มันเป็นแบบนี้นี่เอง... เฮ่อ

 

 

The wall is the show... that I come to like it recently

 

I don't know what to write, neither what to think

 

Is history about to repeat itself again? This rhetorical question needs no verbal answer, yet only action that counts.

 

Rewinding my VDO titled "Life" back way way far away... I saw a chubby boy that does nothing but plays games.

Fast Forwarding the same VDO, what do I see?

 

Here come present... A chubby 20 year old dude. Who always causes problems... to himself... and to others

 

His mind always be questioned by himself... Sometimes, when he couldn't do anything, the only thing he done is to let it go. That leaves the scar in life. A bad experience that he could put a brick to seal a problem.

 

Once it gets more and more.... the bricks seems to lock himself.

 

----------------------- Yet, some problems can't be mend by only putting a brick to block it.

----------------------- In facts, putting a brick to block a problem doesn't solve anything at all.

 

It is time to face to truth... It is time to break through this wall

Although it's time, another question rings... Am I ready to face the truth?

 

A ridiculously stupid question... yet there's no answer for it.

The Wall... by Pink Floyd

 

"The every bad experience Pink encounters in his life is create every brick that Pink creates inside his mind... For that he locks his heart and his soul away from the outside"

 

People in the wall... people in thier own worlds... fly around mindlessly, accompany with insanity...

... They are in the asylum of their own ...

 

Everything starts from nothing... as the wall wasn't finish in days

Bits by Bits... Bricks by Bricks...

 

Every brick blocks every hole that been punctured by bad experiences.

When holes are everywhere... Bricks, too, are everywhere...

 

When holes have been made at a certain amount, the easiest thing a man can do is to create the cell... conceal himself within

 

Being threatened by the world... a man rather being threatened by himself

Life is a mess...

 

no life... no mess

What? When? Where? How?....

 

What happened to me?

When did this happened?

Where it started?

How come.... how come I left my space outdated for a little bit over a month?

 

This is strange... for me... Have I changed?

 

Probably something more interesting distracts me?

 

Oh well.. it's been over 2 1/2 months now that I am in the US.

Having fun.... and at the same time, trying to waste my time... kills it as it flies...

 

Time flies.... it really flies

It flies even faster when people are having good moments

yet... moments never fly away... rather embraced in the thought, in the heart, in the mind... It's called memory

 

Memories never be forgotten... It looks like it deludes away from your mind. But it only lies beneath the conciousness

 

WAIT.... WHAT AM I WRITING.....????

 

Oh well... I guess that some stupid thoughts thrown out once in a while

Since when?... why?...

I looked over this space so many times... but I ended up never write anything on it...

 

I'm tired... my eyelids try to cover my eyeballs... my conciousness blurs away...

 

Why am I updating this space, then?... well... even myself couldn't answer that kind of question...

 

It's 2.30am in the friggin morning... I have a class at 8... and I haven't gone to bed yet...

 

I should.. or should I?... what the heck was that for? I don't know... LoL

 

Maybe I should go to bed now... or should I finish this entry first?.. I guess I have the answer for it...

 

My roommate lays still on his futon... but these ten fingers of mine couldn't stop making such annoying tapping sound

I try to make the noise as low as possible... still... there're tap tap... click click... echoing around the room...

 

Today was alrite... I have some fun around the campus on sunday...

 

I have so many friends... wanna count?

(There're just too many I couldn't list them all at once)

 

How many days was it?... since I got here...

 

14... 11

 

28 days... I've been here.... yet only 4 entries were put in this space...

How ironic.... It should update more often than that...

 

I used to have 4 entries a day....

Now?... it's 7 days per entry....

 

This space needs more of my attention!

But..... who's looking at this anyway?

 

3 people?.... haha

 

actually one reader is enough to have me keep on writing stuffs that are basically thrown of my head to here through my hands,,,

 

I Miss Thailand... Miss everything there....

The sky was grey... the rain falls pouring water as it may

It was cold, It was wet... If I was a dog.. I would look like one that strays